It has been so long since I last posted....about anything! So many things have happened in these 5 (short) months. Time seems to go by so quickly these days.
Bronner James Reese was born on August 13th. He weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and was 20 inches long. Bronner has been such a blessing! He is an amazing little boy and has such a sweet personality already. Bronner will be 5 months old next week!! I can't believe it! He has gotten big so fast!!! There are little moments in every day that I just try to hang on to. I take a moment and really take in what he's doing. I realize that he won't always be "like this."
In the first month......
I tried to take in every bit of snuggle time and being at home with him. I took in every moment of nursing. What a blessing it was to have that bonding time with him. There wasn't a moment in his first month that I didn't cherish. Even the "poopy" diapers! I have been reminded several times in his short little life...just how truly blessed we are to have a healthy baby. Many of my friends have lost babies in the past couple of years. It made me really cherish my pregnancy and appreciate every doctor's appointment that I got a good report at. Everytime I heard his little heart beat.....I thought about how truly blessed we were. Yes, I was "one of those" pregnant women who did everything by the book. I wanted to make sure that if anything happened that I did everything I could to make sure that he was healthy. There wasn't a day that went by in his first month that I didn't thank my sweet Jesus for giving me such a gift. We loved listening to his little noises and watching his sweet smile.
In the second month.....
This second month was quite an eventful month. Around September 15th, I started feeling lots...and lots of INTENSE pain in my back and shoulder. I kept blaming it on nursing...because Bronner had gotten so big!!! ; ) I sucked it up and kept going about my regular routine. I finally couldn't take the pain...every time I would breathe or move in a certain direction the pain was too intense to keep ignoring, so I called my OB, packed Bronner up in the car and went to the doctor. I described my symptoms to him and he said it sounded like muscle spasms...which is exactly what I was thinking...that I had been straining a little much holding Bronner and trying to do too much. Dr. Wheeler sent me home with some medicine and told me if the pain wasn't gone by Monday to call him and come in.
By that night I was convulsing with every breath I took. Jamie tried massaging my back and shoulder...which only made the pain so much worse. Jamie called Dr. Wheeler right away. He was on call in L & D, so he just had us come up to the hospital. So....late that night we packed up our 5 week old baby and went to Labor and Delivery. We got there and they ran MANY tests, did a chest x-ray and couldn't find a thing wrong. He gave me some stronger meds and sent me home that Thursday morning. When we got home I was feeling a bit better...and was just going to give it till Monday like he said. Thankfully, God gave Dr. Wheeler a nudge. Dr. Wheeler called me (himself) to check on me Friday morning. He explained to me that he "didn't feel right going into the weekend without really knowing what was going on with me." He wanted me to go have a CT done right away. My sister, who by the way....was a tremendous blessing...came and helped me get Bronner packed up and took me for the CT. Jamie was at work, so he couldn't go. We went and had the CT done, by this point the pain was topping the charts. The nurse at the Medical Mall came out and said the doctor had looked at the results of my CT and Dr. Wheeler wanted me back at their office immediately. She told us not to make any stops on our way to the doctor's office, that I ,in fact, had a pulminary embolism. We arrived at Dr. Wheeler's office and one of the other doctor's who was on call, Dr. Delisle, was waiting in the lobby...with a nurse and a wheel chair. He explained to me that I was going to be admitted to the hospital to treat the blood clot. My mind was racing! I had heard of people dying from these! I've never been as afraid to die as I was in that moment. I had a 5 week old baby....if something happened to me...he wouldn't know me. He wouldn't get a chance to really know how much his mommy cherished him, wanted him...prepared for his arrival. I would have to leave Jamie a single daddy. My life has just begun...and to think that it could have all came to an end...had Dr. Wheeler not listed to God's little tug. I know this all seems a bit dramatic. For several days...I was afraid to close my eyes at night. It took a few nights of lots of prayers...and no sleep to remind myself that God was in control. He has a perfect plan and it was all unfolding.
My sweet sister and her girls left the comfort of their home....my sister took off work.....my nieces were displaced from their home...their toys....and came to stay with me and help me out that next week. I don't know what I would have done withtout Gracie's comic relief, Abbie's sweet smile and love for Bronner, and my sister's support that week. It was such a roller coaster that week after I came home from the hospital. I had to leave Bronner for the first time over night, I had to let people take care of me. It wasn't easy...but I'm stronger because of it all. I'm more thankful than I've ever been....just simply for every breath I take. Every time I'm able to wake up to hear my baby cooing...or even crying through the monitor....he's healthy...and happy...and I'm here to enjoy it. I'm even thankful for the times Jamie wakes me up talking in his sleep....I'm thankful that I wake up to him in the middle of the night...and can roll over in peace knowing that through the good times....the scary times...that my God is in control...he has a plan.
For the time being I am on blood thinners. I have to go to a clinic every so often to have the thickness of my blood checked...the next time I am pregnant, I will have to go see a specialist and take blood thinners then as well. I am healthy...my son and precious husband are both healthy.
Bronner really started to make some noise in this month....making lots of eye contact and grinning at us!!! : )
In the third month.......
October was almost just as eventful as September!! : ) I went back to work....Bronner had his first Halloween! He was a monkey...and such a cute one if I do say so myself! I have to say that I cried every day for about two weeks before I went back to work. Leaving him for the first time to go back to work was VERY hard. I knew he was going to be taken good care of by Jean and Heather, but I was going to miss being with him 24/7. I was afraid that I would miss out on too much. However, I've learned that it's the quality of time I spend with him not the quantity that matters. Bronner started really laughing out loud during this month. His coos started changing a lot. Bronner is like a new toy for Jamie and I.....we love listening to him talk...giggle....and watch him play. He is so sweet.
In the fourth month.....
Bronner had his first Thanksgiving in this month....he also had his first Christmas. The holidays were so wonderful this year. It was bitter-sweet. My grandfather, "pop", passed away December 8th. Pop LOVED Bronner so much!
I went to see Pop in the hospital about two weeks before he passed away. He told me that he wanted to get in the floor and lay beside him and just play with him. Pop never got to do that...so I make it a point to try and do that as often as possible......and to just enjoy the little things in life. Bronner really helped me through loosing my grandfather. In four months I experienced the full circle of life. I was able to witness Bronner take his first breath and I witnessed my grandfather take his last. To see the beginning and the end was so bitter sweet.
Bronner and I went to Build-A-Bear the day after Pop passed away and made him a "Pop Bear". Bronner will never get the chance to really know Pop, but he will hear about him for sure!
Bronner also started rolling over the day after Christmas!! He is becoming such a big boy. He has started to say, "Mamamamamamama"... ; ) I'm just sure he is calling for me....just sayin'. Bronner will be 5 months old tomorrow....I can't believe it!! He's growing so fast. He's starting to actually play with his toys...wrestle with toys..and hold little conversations with them...he's even starting to look more like a little boy than a baby!!!
Jamie and I are so very thankful for this gift God has given us. Bronner is such a blessing in our lives. We could have never imagined the emense sense of pure joy that Bronner has brought to our lives. My daily prayer for Bronner is that he becomes the man of God that he will be called to be. I pray for his future wife, his children, his health, his passion for life. I pray that he use his life to further God's kingdom.
My cup runneth over.....EVERY day! I love you Bronner James!! Thank you Jesus for this sweet gift you have given us.
